Hey Mona! I visited your portfolio website and gave it a look through. I like the name of your website – Mona’s Bookshelf, it feels very homey to me! You could add some sort of brief, one-sentence description of the site if you wanted on your home page. I am not a huge fan of bugs in general, so while your image is aptly picked for your story, I did not enjoy it that much and may have been a little terrified to look at it. It does provide great visual detail though to your story! I remember reading your story on your blog, and I agree with you in your author’s note – I think this version is better than the original! I enjoyed reading it over again and seeing the changes you made. I really think it helped enrich your story. I’m glad that our classmates’ comments helped you improve it!
Hi Mona! For starters, I love the pictures you use in your website- the aged books on the homepage are perfect for the vibe of your site, and I love the power pose of the praying mantis to start off your story. The beginning paragraph to sort of preface the praying mantis was something new for me in terms of reading stories in this class. I liked it, and thought you did a great job of setting up the story and sort of hyping it up. Small note: if you want, you can italicize the title of your story in that first paragraph. I also think you can re-work the flow of the first sentence, as the “it” complicates the flow. Instead of On the island of Lanka, a tribe of female goblins known as rakshasis controlled it and the surrounding waters,perhaps something along the lines of: Rumors have always circulated in sea-faring communities of the mysterious island of Lanka, tales of glamoured goblins inhabitants. The rakshasis, as they were called, were said to control the island and the oceans nearby, which they used as a hunting ground for their favorite delicacy: the flesh of men. The word therefore as a transition in the second paragraph is unnecessary, unless you prefer the way it reads! I especially appreciate the way you wrote about the motivations of the monsters, and laid out systematically the stages of the hunt. My favorite thing about your story was how it was an origin for the praying mantis, and the way you described the demons physically transforming into insects. Nice job!
I loved the Praying Mantis story! It was awesome to have Saraswati invoke justice on the rakashsis. I felt like you gave a lot of readers some relief from pent-up anger with that one lol. Not only was it emotionally satisfying for the goblins to get a return on their karma, it was also very interesting to hear it tied into the origin story for praying mantises. What happened to their city though? It'd be interesting if you described what happened to their buildings. Really great job though!
Hey Mona! I really liked that you made your portfolio a bookshelf theme. It adds a sense of personality to it. The image you used is perfect for the whole theme and shows good effort! I also liked how you made Hanuman's story in the setting of an interview. It was cool to see a question and answer style for such a cool story! I liked that it was Hanuman's account of Rama's story and that it has the feel of "Adventures of Rama and Hanuman" rather than just Rama's adventures. Will you continue the interview style of story? I really imagined Hanuman speaking about losing his powers and not being upset about it. Just like he said, he could not miss what he did not know he had. Overall, it's awesome that you found a character that you enjoyed so much that you wrote a story about him! Keep up the good work!
Hi Mona, I love the name and style of your story portfolio. The idea of a 'Card Catalog' is so cute and I love the picture that you used for it. I like the interview style of your first story about Hanuman. To be honest, I was kind of confused about his character when I read the Ramayana, so I like that your story really described his lineage well. You did a great job of describing his powers and experiences as a child. Your Author's Note on this story was great for explaining why you chose to write about Hanuman. It’s clear that you’re a talented writer. My only feedback is that the dark gray background with the black text is kind of hard to read, especially in brighter room. But this is a minor deal. Overall, great job and I look forward to reading the rest of your portfolio!
I love how you did this as an interview! Of all the stories this semester I have read, no one has done this style. This story provided great context on Hanuman that I previously had no knowledge of. Where did you find this story? Was it in the readings and I just missed it? (whoopsies if I did). Also, just out of curiosity why is it that Hanuman had gaps in his memory? I do not remember reading about this, and that was something that caught my attention. I like how you changed the background color to something different than white. You are also the first person to do that that I have seen that I has done that as well. My only critique is that maybe a brighter color would help the words pop a little more. Thats all I got, overall this was amazing!
Hey Mona! I visited your portfolio and wow that cover page is very interesting. I really enjoyed your portfolio’s title of “Mona’s Bookshelf,” I thought that was very clever of you! Your portfolio is very easy to navigate! I really enjoy in your first story how it goes with kind of an Interview aspect. It made it very easy to follow the plot. I thought that the picture used was very fitting to the story! I noticed you put great detail into your story and followed the plot from the “Sundarkaand: The Triumph of Hanuman” almost perfectly. What if in the stories you made the characters seem a little more excited? But I appreciate the detail you had Hanuman use wen he was describing himself. What if you made the interviewer ask a little bit more of detail in the questions he asks? I really enjoyed your portfolio, and I look forward to reading your future stories!
Your website just wow’d me. From your portfolio’s name to the cover page picture. It really feels like I am looking at a book shelf about to pick a book to read. I really like the concept that you have used to tell your stories. Also the idea of an interview is nice because it is like a conversation back and forth and readers get to see bioth side of the story. It is great that you have talked about Hanuman in your story because I learned more about him and things I would have never known. I could really see an interview happening and visualize it. Its great that you have not put your stories on just one topic, rather you have chosen different things to talk about just like a book shelf would have. You have really nice topics going in your page. I really look forward to reading more of your stories. Keep up the good work!
Hi Mona! Your Storybook looks amazing! I truly love your background layout! It looks warm and cozy like studying at a coffee shop! Your stories are awesome as well. I love how creative and the imaginations you put in, especially The Exclusive Interview with Hanuman story! It is awesome that you made a script for this version of your story. It was also very creative for you to have the conversations between Hanuman and the interviewer as well! After reading your script, it actually made me feel like I was in the interview. You pretty much allured the readers into your story which is the point and important! Therefore, you did an awesome job at that. Also, you did a wonderful job on providing a descriptive background for your author’s note. It made me understand why you chose this story and how you interpret it into your own. Overall, well done, Mona!
Hi Mona! I want to start off by saying that I love your homepage on your website! The books are a fantastic touch to them of your website, "Mona's Storytelling Collection." I really enjoyed reading your first story, "The Exclusive Interview with Hanuman." I like the concept of a script about an interview with him. I also like how you brought out his personality in this story. Since it is actually Hanuman speaking for himself, it's like we get to know his thoughts and opinions on everything and I think that is really interesting. Also, you did a great job on your author's note! I don't provide links in my author's note but now I think I should because this way the reader can actually go and read up on Hanuman from your sources. I thought about doing a script once for one of my story but I didn't really know if I would be good at it, but now I have a good reference source to go to see how a well-written script would look like. Good job! You're doing a really awesome job on your stories!
Hi Mona! I just finished your first story and I love the concept of the radio interview! It's such a smart way to tell a story because you can literally ask questions and get first person answers! Why is Hanuman your favorite character from the Ramayana? I liked him too, but I can't remember much! I liked the style of your writing. It was easy to get into and it felt like I was reading a real interview! I love reading interviews in magazines and I think you did a good job at capturing that atmosphere. It truly felt like two people sitting down and talking. I liked how the interview shed light on things we would have never known about Hanuman. It was nice to get a glimpse of his childhood. Your site looked really good, but it wasn't distracting and it didn't take away from your story.
Hi Mona! Your stories were great! The way you developed Hanuman's character through an interview was entertaining and felt very authentic. I liked getting to know who influenced the character; I felt like I learned a lot about Hanuman through this exchange. Also, the bazaar inserts about the character being really old and what not were funny. I also liked the visuals on your page. The picture of the monkey and aged paper background emphasized the age of Hanuman. I also loved your praying mantis picture! I also liked how you introduced the pray mantis story with some background on where the story originated from. There was also a lot of good imagery in the second story. This is different from the interview one, which is more dialogue based. Both have benefits. Great job!
Hi Mona, I just had the chance to read your stories on both Hanuman and the preying mantis. First off, I love the interview style that you use to flesh out the exact details that you want to show from Hanuman's history, its a very clever way to get that out. Second, I really like the part where you let Hanuman mention that the story of his life is different, depending on who you talk to. I think this is a great way to handle the different versions of the stories that we read throughout our time in this class. One thing that I am curious about is why you chose to include more about his backstory as opposed to what he does within the Ramayana, or if he had any relation to the Mahabharata. It might be interesting to see his take on those somewhat as current events. Either way, this was a great story, and I really enjoyed reading it!
Hey there Mona! I just got the chance to take a look at your project site for this semester. I want to just start by saying that I absolutely love how you made a "card catalog" on the homepage of your story, that was such a unique and great idea! I really love the imagery and overall aesthetic that you have in your project, and I feel like it matches your topic quite well too. The title of your first story immediately caught my attention, and I loved the use of the word exclusive. This made the story feel so personal and the way you managed to turn a story into an interview was truly impressive. I wonder why you chose a different format for the praying mantis story? Either way, I enjoyed it greatly! I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future, and I can't wait to check out your project as you get closer and closer to finishing it. Keep up the good work!
Hey Mona! I just got done looking at your portfolio. I love the images you used for your stories and home page. First, I want to say you have a great writing style and as I was reading your stories I was really able to understand what I was reading. Dialogue helps a story and I think it worked really well that you added the conversations in here. It is awesome that each story is about a different topic and I like that you included a line on each on your home page. Your portfolio did have that bookshelf feel and that was pretty neat.
Hey Mona! I really loved the design and layout of your portfolio project! I especially liked how you included a card catalog on your home page. I think that was a smart idea because it gives the readers an easy quick guide of the stories you have on there, and a brief description of it. Also, I think you did a great job on your stories too! I enjoyed reading the interview of Hanuman. I thought the idea of writing an interview with Hanuman was clever and made the story fun to read. I also enjoyed how the background of the stories are like an old letter. It added to the aesthetic of your project. In addition, I liked the detail you provided in your author's note. It gave an insight of how you came about with your stories. Overall, your stories were well written and included enough details to give the readers the feeling as if they were there. Keep up the good work!
I am actually in the Mythology class so this is the first blog I have seen in Epics of India! It seems like our classes are very similarly structured though. Your portfolio is very unique in design, I especially love the modern cartoon drawings of the characters. The stories I read were very heavy in dialogue which was helpful to me because it submerged me into the text. I did not realize how deeply personal each story is and how big the impact it can have on the way the Hindus see the world around them. The way you used different styles of story telling was especially fascinating to me because it is such a unique way to go about the project! The front page of your blog is also so engaging that I felt like I had no confusion as to where I was or needed to go. This is a huge plus to have as I have been to many blogs where I get lost easily or am unable to follow the stories. Thanks for sharing and keep it up!
Hey Mona! I'm glad that we got to choose which projects we could check out since I haven't had a chance to look at yours! I have to say that reading your stories was the first time that I had heard about a lot of the characters. I think that it is pretty awesome that you used graphic novels as your source for your stories. I may look into reading some of those in our future assignments so that I can also be more spun up on your stories! In your Hanuman story, I was fascinated at how flawlessly you were able to tell the story by means of dialogue. That surely takes a lot of skill! I had no idea about the praying mantis and what an interesting story! I'm so glad that you shared that with us! Overall, I must say that I enjoyed reading your stories, your images that you used, and learning new things. Awesome job and keep up the good work... we're almost to the finish line!
Hi Mona! I like that you used the bookshelf idea for your storybook. It is so cute and works really well! The card catalog on the home page was also a good idea and the description were concise without giving away too much. The formatting of the stories themselves made the stories easy to read. I like that you used dialogue in your story. Redemption was so good and the ending wrapped it up good. You really added a lot of descriptive sentences in your story like, "...the awe-inspiring, fear-inducing Kali." In my stories I usually forget to incorporate that and it worked so well for yours. I am going to definitely use that for my last story. I also really liked your story Praying Mantis. I love stories that tell how things came to be because it is always so interesting the different ways it could play out. It is probably one of my favorites.
Hi Mona, I really love how you used the bookshelf idea for your storybook. It makes it really nice and different while still be really easy to navigate around. You did something that I have not really seen anyone else do so far that makes yours look even better because you had to be really creative to format it like this. With your stories I really like how you added plenty of dialogue that makes it so much easier to understand what is really going on with the story. You wrote great stories and I am glad that you were able to maintain the overall theme while retelling them.
Hey Mona! I visited your portfolio website and gave it a look through. I like the name of your website – Mona’s Bookshelf, it feels very homey to me! You could add some sort of brief, one-sentence description of the site if you wanted on your home page. I am not a huge fan of bugs in general, so while your image is aptly picked for your story, I did not enjoy it that much and may have been a little terrified to look at it. It does provide great visual detail though to your story! I remember reading your story on your blog, and I agree with you in your author’s note – I think this version is better than the original! I enjoyed reading it over again and seeing the changes you made. I really think it helped enrich your story. I’m glad that our classmates’ comments helped you improve it!
ReplyDeleteHi Mona!
ReplyDeleteFor starters, I love the pictures you use in your website- the aged books on the homepage are perfect for the vibe of your site, and I love the power pose of the praying mantis to start off your story. The beginning paragraph to sort of preface the praying mantis was something new for me in terms of reading stories in this class. I liked it, and thought you did a great job of setting up the story and sort of hyping it up. Small note: if you want, you can italicize the title of your story in that first paragraph. I also think you can re-work the flow of the first sentence, as the “it” complicates the flow.
Instead of On the island of Lanka, a tribe of female goblins known as rakshasis controlled it and the surrounding waters,perhaps something along the lines of: Rumors have always circulated in sea-faring communities of the mysterious island of Lanka, tales of glamoured goblins inhabitants. The rakshasis, as they were called, were said to control the island and the oceans nearby, which they used as a hunting ground for their favorite delicacy: the flesh of men.
The word therefore as a transition in the second paragraph is unnecessary, unless you prefer the way it reads! I especially appreciate the way you wrote about the motivations of the monsters, and laid out systematically the stages of the hunt. My favorite thing about your story was how it was an origin for the praying mantis, and the way you described the demons physically transforming into insects. Nice job!
I loved the Praying Mantis story! It was awesome to have Saraswati invoke justice on the rakashsis. I felt like you gave a lot of readers some relief from pent-up anger with that one lol. Not only was it emotionally satisfying for the goblins to get a return on their karma, it was also very interesting to hear it tied into the origin story for praying mantises. What happened to their city though? It'd be interesting if you described what happened to their buildings. Really great job though!
ReplyDeleteHey Mona!
ReplyDeleteI really liked that you made your portfolio a bookshelf theme. It adds a sense of personality to it. The image you used is perfect for the whole theme and shows good effort! I also liked how you made Hanuman's story in the setting of an interview. It was cool to see a question and answer style for such a cool story! I liked that it was Hanuman's account of Rama's story and that it has the feel of "Adventures of Rama and Hanuman" rather than just Rama's adventures. Will you continue the interview style of story? I really imagined Hanuman speaking about losing his powers and not being upset about it. Just like he said, he could not miss what he did not know he had. Overall, it's awesome that you found a character that you enjoyed so much that you wrote a story about him! Keep up the good work!
Hi Mona,
ReplyDeleteI love the name and style of your story portfolio. The idea of a 'Card Catalog' is so cute and I love the picture that you used for it. I like the interview style of your first story about Hanuman. To be honest, I was kind of confused about his character when I read the Ramayana, so I like that your story really described his lineage well. You did a great job of describing his powers and experiences as a child. Your Author's Note on this story was great for explaining why you chose to write about Hanuman. It’s clear that you’re a talented writer. My only feedback is that the dark gray background with the black text is kind of hard to read, especially in brighter room. But this is a minor deal. Overall, great job and I look forward to reading the rest of your portfolio!
Hi Mona!
ReplyDeleteI love how you did this as an interview! Of all the stories this semester I have read, no one has done this style. This story provided great context on Hanuman that I previously had no knowledge of. Where did you find this story? Was it in the readings and I just missed it? (whoopsies if I did). Also, just out of curiosity why is it that Hanuman had gaps in his memory? I do not remember reading about this, and that was something that caught my attention. I like how you changed the background color to something different than white. You are also the first person to do that that I have seen that I has done that as well. My only critique is that maybe a brighter color would help the words pop a little more. Thats all I got, overall this was amazing!
Hey Mona!
ReplyDeleteI visited your portfolio and wow that cover page is very interesting. I really enjoyed your portfolio’s title of “Mona’s Bookshelf,” I thought that was very clever of you! Your portfolio is very easy to navigate! I really enjoy in your first story how it goes with kind of an Interview aspect. It made it very easy to follow the plot. I thought that the picture used was very fitting to the story! I noticed you put great detail into your story and followed the plot from the “Sundarkaand: The Triumph of Hanuman” almost perfectly. What if in the stories you made the characters seem a little more excited? But I appreciate the detail you had Hanuman use wen he was describing himself. What if you made the interviewer ask a little bit more of detail in the questions he asks? I really enjoyed your portfolio, and I look forward to reading your future stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Mona,
Your website just wow’d me. From your portfolio’s name to the cover page picture. It really feels like I am looking at a book shelf about to pick a book to read. I really like the concept that you have used to tell your stories. Also the idea of an interview is nice because it is like a conversation back and forth and readers get to see bioth side of the story. It is great that you have talked about Hanuman in your story because I learned more about him and things I would have never known. I could really see an interview happening and visualize it. Its great that you have not put your stories on just one topic, rather you have chosen different things to talk about just like a book shelf would have. You have really nice topics going in your page. I really look forward to reading more of your stories. Keep up the good work!
Hi Mona! Your Storybook looks amazing! I truly love your background layout! It looks warm and cozy like studying at a coffee shop! Your stories are awesome as well. I love how creative and the imaginations you put in, especially The Exclusive Interview with Hanuman story! It is awesome that you made a script for this version of your story. It was also very creative for you to have the conversations between Hanuman and the interviewer as well! After reading your script, it actually made me feel like I was in the interview. You pretty much allured the readers into your story which is the point and important! Therefore, you did an awesome job at that. Also, you did a wonderful job on providing a descriptive background for your author’s note. It made me understand why you chose this story and how you interpret it into your own. Overall, well done, Mona!
ReplyDeleteHi Mona! I want to start off by saying that I love your homepage on your website! The books are a fantastic touch to them of your website, "Mona's Storytelling Collection." I really enjoyed reading your first story, "The Exclusive Interview with Hanuman." I like the concept of a script about an interview with him. I also like how you brought out his personality in this story. Since it is actually Hanuman speaking for himself, it's like we get to know his thoughts and opinions on everything and I think that is really interesting. Also, you did a great job on your author's note! I don't provide links in my author's note but now I think I should because this way the reader can actually go and read up on Hanuman from your sources. I thought about doing a script once for one of my story but I didn't really know if I would be good at it, but now I have a good reference source to go to see how a well-written script would look like. Good job! You're doing a really awesome job on your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Mona! I just finished your first story and I love the concept of the radio interview! It's such a smart way to tell a story because you can literally ask questions and get first person answers! Why is Hanuman your favorite character from the Ramayana? I liked him too, but I can't remember much! I liked the style of your writing. It was easy to get into and it felt like I was reading a real interview! I love reading interviews in magazines and I think you did a good job at capturing that atmosphere. It truly felt like two people sitting down and talking. I liked how the interview shed light on things we would have never known about Hanuman. It was nice to get a glimpse of his childhood. Your site looked really good, but it wasn't distracting and it didn't take away from your story.
ReplyDeleteHi Mona! Your stories were great! The way you developed Hanuman's character through an interview was entertaining and felt very authentic. I liked getting to know who influenced the character; I felt like I learned a lot about Hanuman through this exchange. Also, the bazaar inserts about the character being really old and what not were funny. I also liked the visuals on your page. The picture of the monkey and aged paper background emphasized the age of Hanuman. I also loved your praying mantis picture! I also liked how you introduced the pray mantis story with some background on where the story originated from. There was also a lot of good imagery in the second story. This is different from the interview one, which is more dialogue based. Both have benefits. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Mona, I just had the chance to read your stories on both Hanuman and the preying mantis. First off, I love the interview style that you use to flesh out the exact details that you want to show from Hanuman's history, its a very clever way to get that out. Second, I really like the part where you let Hanuman mention that the story of his life is different, depending on who you talk to. I think this is a great way to handle the different versions of the stories that we read throughout our time in this class. One thing that I am curious about is why you chose to include more about his backstory as opposed to what he does within the Ramayana, or if he had any relation to the Mahabharata. It might be interesting to see his take on those somewhat as current events. Either way, this was a great story, and I really enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteHey there Mona! I just got the chance to take a look at your project site for this semester. I want to just start by saying that I absolutely love how you made a "card catalog" on the homepage of your story, that was such a unique and great idea! I really love the imagery and overall aesthetic that you have in your project, and I feel like it matches your topic quite well too. The title of your first story immediately caught my attention, and I loved the use of the word exclusive. This made the story feel so personal and the way you managed to turn a story into an interview was truly impressive. I wonder why you chose a different format for the praying mantis story? Either way, I enjoyed it greatly! I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future, and I can't wait to check out your project as you get closer and closer to finishing it. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Mona! I just got done looking at your portfolio. I love the images you used for your stories and home page. First, I want to say you have a great writing style and as I was reading your stories I was really able to understand what I was reading. Dialogue helps a story and I think it worked really well that you added the conversations in here. It is awesome that each story is about a different topic and I like that you included a line on each on your home page. Your portfolio did have that bookshelf feel and that was pretty neat.
ReplyDeleteHey Mona!
ReplyDeleteI really loved the design and layout of your portfolio project! I especially liked how you included a card catalog on your home page. I think that was a smart idea because it gives the readers an easy quick guide of the stories you have on there, and a brief description of it. Also, I think you did a great job on your stories too! I enjoyed reading the interview of Hanuman. I thought the idea of writing an interview with Hanuman was clever and made the story fun to read. I also enjoyed how the background of the stories are like an old letter. It added to the aesthetic of your project. In addition, I liked the detail you provided in your author's note. It gave an insight of how you came about with your stories. Overall, your stories were well written and included enough details to give the readers the feeling as if they were there. Keep up the good work!
Hello Mona!
ReplyDeleteI am actually in the Mythology class so this is the first blog I have seen in Epics of India! It seems like our classes are very similarly structured though. Your portfolio is very unique in design, I especially love the modern cartoon drawings of the characters. The stories I read were very heavy in dialogue which was helpful to me because it submerged me into the text. I did not realize how deeply personal each story is and how big the impact it can have on the way the Hindus see the world around them. The way you used different styles of story telling was especially fascinating to me because it is such a unique way to go about the project! The front page of your blog is also so engaging that I felt like I had no confusion as to where I was or needed to go. This is a huge plus to have as I have been to many blogs where I get lost easily or am unable to follow the stories. Thanks for sharing and keep it up!
Hey Mona!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that we got to choose which projects we could check out since I haven't had a chance to look at yours!
I have to say that reading your stories was the first time that I had heard about a lot of the characters. I think that it is pretty awesome that you used graphic novels as your source for your stories. I may look into reading some of those in our future assignments so that I can also be more spun up on your stories!
In your Hanuman story, I was fascinated at how flawlessly you were able to tell the story by means of dialogue. That surely takes a lot of skill!
I had no idea about the praying mantis and what an interesting story! I'm so glad that you shared that with us!
Overall, I must say that I enjoyed reading your stories, your images that you used, and learning new things. Awesome job and keep up the good work... we're almost to the finish line!
Hi Mona! I like that you used the bookshelf idea for your storybook. It is so cute and works really well! The card catalog on the home page was also a good idea and the description were concise without giving away too much. The formatting of the stories themselves made the stories easy to read. I like that you used dialogue in your story. Redemption was so good and the ending wrapped it up good. You really added a lot of descriptive sentences in your story like, "...the awe-inspiring, fear-inducing Kali." In my stories I usually forget to incorporate that and it worked so well for yours. I am going to definitely use that for my last story. I also really liked your story Praying Mantis. I love stories that tell how things came to be because it is always so interesting the different ways it could play out. It is probably one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteHi Mona,
ReplyDeleteI really love how you used the bookshelf idea for your storybook. It makes it really nice and different while still be really easy to navigate around. You did something that I have not really seen anyone else do so far that makes yours look even better because you had to be really creative to format it like this. With your stories I really like how you added plenty of dialogue that makes it so much easier to understand what is really going on with the story. You wrote great stories and I am glad that you were able to maintain the overall theme while retelling them.