The Curse of the
Praying Mantis
Praying Mantis (Open Photo)
Note: An updated version of this story can be found at my portfolio website
https://sites.google.com/site/monasstorycollection/home
One of nature’s viscous creatures is the praying
mantis. Although the insect is a sleek
and elegant creature, few people know how it came to be. The following account is a tale that has been
lost over time, but recently was rediscovered in an ancient temple near Amritsar. For fans of folk lore please enjoy the Curse
of the Praying Mantis.
On the island of Lanka, a tribe of female goblins know as, rakshasis,
controlled it and the surrounding waters.
By casting a glamour these demon females hunted their favorite delicacy,
man flesh. Not only did they enjoy the
taste of flesh, but they also craved a man’s companionship. The goblin tribe thought that the more a man
trusted his companion, the sweeter his flesh tasted. Therefore, the hunt happened in four
stages. First, the female goblins caused
shipwrecks at the narrow straight near Lanka island. Second, as the sailors washed ashore the
female demons would attend to all the sailors needs. Third, the goblins would bide their time
until the sailors claimed them as wives.
Fourth, was the great feast, in which the men realized to late that they
were nothing but a demon’s meal.
Overtime, the rakshasis’ appetites became insatiable. Soon not one trade ship survived the narrow
straight. Which became a major concern
to the capital city on the main land.
Food, textiles, and other supplies never arrived. The result was an
epidemic of famine, crime, sickness, and death.
As the capital city citizens cried for relief from their pain and
suffering, Saraswati answered the call.
Saraswati in her infinite wisdom descended upon goblin
city. Her mission involved justice for
the lost lives, and punishment for to the rakshasis. Her course of action was swift, final, and
absolute. Saraswati proclaimed that the
female demons’ glamour abilities were to be stripped. The goblin queen declared that they only
acted according to their nature and should not be condemned. Saraswati, not one to be outwitted stated
that the demon tribe will be transformed. Much to the rakshasis’ displeasure,
they were forever locked in their true form, but on a smaller scale. So, the entire tribe became praying mantises.
Authors Note
For this story I focused on plot changes. For example, instead of a fairy I chose Saraswati the goddess of wisdom. I also through in a plot twist that explained the origin of the praying mantis. Similar to old myths that tried to explain things before the scientific method was the standard.
Goblin City from The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India, by W. H. D. Rouse
https://sites.google.com/view/jatakas/goblins
Authors Note
For this story I focused on plot changes. For example, instead of a fairy I chose Saraswati the goddess of wisdom. I also through in a plot twist that explained the origin of the praying mantis. Similar to old myths that tried to explain things before the scientific method was the standard.
Goblin City from The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India, by W. H. D. Rouse
https://sites.google.com/view/jatakas/goblins
Hi Ramona,
ReplyDeleteI found the part where you talked about the stages of the hunt very engaging and frightening! (in a compelling way) This description added a lot of suspense to your story. I was very intrigued when you mentioned female goblins and was eager to know more about them. Also, who is Saraswati? You explain in your authors note, but maybe introducing her in the story would be good. Also, what happened to the capital city citizens? What if you described the demons true form at the beginning of the story in more detail so the reader can visualize them as praying mantises at the end of the story? Also, a description of Saraswati would add some visual elements to the story. I was curious what she looked like when I was trying to visualize the enchange between her and the goblins. Great story! I really enjoyed it and thought it was very creative
Hi Ramona! I thought it was very creative to turn the goblin tribe into praying mantis'. I think that their behavior fit in very will with the nature of the praying mantis. I was surprised by the dark nature of the story, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. The story flowed very well, was concise, and contained enough detail to not be too short. My only confusion was you stated that they hunted by casting a glamour and that they caused shipwrecks? How did they cause these shipwrecks? Did they do so by distracting them with a glamour spell? That was the only thing I found unclear. Overall, it was a fantastic piece that was very well written!
ReplyDeleteHi Rona,
ReplyDeleteYou are a really good writer. I feel like your story is very creative and i like how you descried the stages of hunt. You also have enough detail in your story to be understood. Your story flaws very well which is a really strong point in your writing. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.
Hey Mona, I thought it was a great idea to switch up the goblin tribe to turn into a praying mantis! I really felt like you were able to show the characters personality and express the correct idea even with the character change of the goddess of wisdom as well. Like Hayden, I was also a little confused on how exactly the shipwrecks were caused. Was it the spell as Hayden suggested, or a song that was sung perhaps like a siren that caused the glamour? Maybe you could think about adding a little more detailing on that matter, as well as what the goddess looks like, and how the goblins felt upon her arrival. Also, I feel like it would be helpful if you explained a little more on why you chose the switches you did in the authors note after your story. I want to know if you have further knowledge or interest in Saraswati that the reader may not in order to make a more clear connection. Overall, great job! I look forward to reading more of your posts.
ReplyDeleteHey Ramona! Your story was so creative – the way it tied together these evil rakshasis and praying mantises. I never would have thought about that! I feel like a lot of older stories are created to explain the origin of various objects, so it was cool that you stuck with that tradition. When I read your story, I also thought of another possible explanation of the origin of a place – the place where the rakshasis would lure sailors in and wreck their ships could be Bermuda’s Triangle! Maybe worth exploring in another story?
ReplyDeleteHi Mona! I like how it was the origin story of praying mantises. One thing that I wondered about was if you thought about explaining the "praying" part of the mantis look. I think that would be a cool thing to add in your story, like perhaps the Queen Goblin tried to beg Saraswati to not do this? I was a little confused at the beginning of the post because I thought the introduction was apart of the story at first. If you could do something to help differentiate that, it would be really helpful for a reader. The description of the praying mantises was on point and I really enjoyed how you described the stages of the hunt. It helped me understand their nature. Like others have suggested, how do they shipwreck the sailors? Can they control the waves around their island, or do they hide the jagged rocks beneath the water so that the sailors unknowingly drive their ship into hazardous waters?
ReplyDeleteHey Mona. I really enjoyed this story and liked the origin that you brought for the praying mantises. This is a great twist on the story we had read and does well to explain why instead of just telling us the story. By going in on the stages of the goblins hunt it better allowed us to understand what was going on.
ReplyDeleteHi Mona,
ReplyDeleteThis gives such a better imagery to the original Goblin City story, and it's terrifying to imagine giant preying mantis' as the original goblins. I love stories that explain how creatures came to be, and I think you do a great job explaining how the mantises are punished for being themselves and for their crimes. Overall, this was a great read!